Another Rant

I have these two friends who are made for each other. They like one another, but one says "they are not ready to be in a relationship" and the other says she likes the other one yet spends the time flirting with other 3rd parties. You know what get a clue. I would really like to see these person's actions actually correspond what they are spewing out of their mouths. Dude, if you are not interested in a relationship stop f***ing with people's emotions, i.e. stop being such a big f***ing flirt. Chick, if you want girls to take you seriously, stop flirting with every Tom, Dick & Harry that you are not interested in and save some of the action for us. Also, if you expect us to be their to support you, you actually have to act like you care about the person and give us a little respect in return. Seriously, I'm not a f***ing mind reader, I don't know what you are thinking or feeling and can't read your body language because it contradicts whatever comes out of your mouth. You want me to help and be there, then get real.



I just don't get these two people. I don't know if it's lack of self control, attention depravation, or lack of self confidence, but I am tired that what comes out of their mouths does not comport with their actions. How the hell are the rest of us supposed to know what you are feeling or thinking when you are sending contradictory messages? And quite frankly I am so sick of trying to figure out these two people.



Oh let me be clear ... I am tired of going out with said person and being hurt. You want to know how? By being second fiddle, chop liver, easily disregarded by both the assholes we meet and by the friend I go out with. You want to know why you do not have a lot of girl friends or the ones who are around you don't respect you, a) they don't trust you to not flirt with the men they are interested in; b) you'd ditch us girls in a heart beat for a guy; and c) you only care what guys think or how they react to your looks & personalty, what we say does not matter, thanks that makes me feel good. And quite frankly, I am not going to sit there and compete with you for attention. From now on, you want the center, it's all yours & I am walking out of the room, stick a fork in me I am done.



You really want to know why I am so ticked off. I'm hurting because I feel like I was discarded by my friends again & I am ticked off that I constantly hear "I look like shit" yet she still manages to have guys flocking to her, while I sit there feeling like the ugly duckling / wall flower in the room. Please tell me, when do people get real? When can I say, "see with them, what you see is what you get" and I don't have to waste the mental or emotional energy trying to decode them.



Finally, I go out with my friends to feel better, to reconnect with the world. More and more, I find myself being hurt, feeling worse about myself, feeling like the odd person out, etc... I don't expect them to make me happy, that's all on me, but when I am in a good mood to start and I come home feeling like crap, and it's been a pattern lately, it's kind of making me start to wonder. It really hurts me to start pondering whether I need to move on and find different people to hang out with because I'm really tired of coming home feeling like shit, rather than feeling happy that I spent time with my so called friends.



I don't know, cause at the same I know I am emotionally vulnerable right now, but do I really want to surround myself with people who clearly have their own issues to deal with and who constantly hurt me (although I have to admit most probably don't realize it, because I usually just take the shit and move on, well the shit is starting to overflow and I feel the bitch coming out, I'm tired of being dumped on, used, easily disregarded, & taken advantage of). So I guess I will have to start pondering how I can act, to limit / prevent those around me from continuing this or you know what I just need to move on. Any suggestions?