Am I Blessed?
So, I know it's been awhile but my first semester of Law School is completed. So far I have one A(Research & Writing) and one B (Criminal Law). My two other exams have yet to post grades (Constitutional Law and Torts), but I will be extremely shocked if I don't get As in those classes as well. I walked out of those exams feeling as though I nailed them. So, keep your fingers crossed for me.
On another note, I've been reevaluating things and sometimes I wonder if I'm blessed. Let me explain...for the first time in a while I took a leap of faith in myself. I didn't stress out too much about the first semester of law school nor did I put any added effort into the semester. My dad has been telling me for years that I'm a lot smarter than I give myself credit for and I took that leap of faith this semester. I'm hoping my grades end up proving that leap right. The leap also made it a lot easier for me. I did not end up self sabotaging myself (which I'm proned to do) and I did not stress about when I did receive a successful grade (i.e. one of the highest Memorandum grades in my R&W class), I didn't stress out too much about meeting or exceeding the expectation of my teacher. You see once I set the bar for myself in a certain area or class, I tend to fear I cannot live up to those expectations and in essence fulfill that fear by sabotaging myself. This semester, however, I was sabotage free! Yipee!
Ok, here's another reason I'm beginning to really appreciate things in my life. I, like everyone else, am fallible and make stupid decisions sometimes. The consequences of these decisions, however, are never as bad as they could be. It's though I have my own personal Angel watching my back and keeping me safe from experiencing the really bad consequences. I do, however, learn my lesson and try to change for the better, recognizing I got off pretty damn easy.
Ok, another example...I started, about a week ago, looking for a job for this semester. I would really like to be back in an office with what I consider a "Real" job for myself. However, my schedule this semester puts my classes during normal business hours. I had almost resigned myself to working retail again, just to make some extra money (the only reason I do not consider this a "Real" job for me is because it's not something I would want to pursue as a career for myself, I'm not trying to knock these jobs at all). Anyway, Tuesday I found an advertisement for an administrative job working for a law firm from 5p-9p. I couldn't believe it. I have tons of experience working Admin jobs and one of the main reasons for going to Law school was so I wouldn't have to do Admin jobs for the rest of my life, but it pays better than retail, it's in a law firm giving me experience in real property law, and it fits my schedule. How cool is that. I just interviewed for the job today and hopefully I end up getting it. I can bring in some extra cash and learn something about the law, outside of the classroom.
Such has been the story of my life. I have received blessing after blessing. Don't get me wrong, I have experienced darker side of life, which make appreciating what I do recieve so much more important. And also don't get me wrong, I don't throw these blessings at the window, expect them, or abuse them. I just like to think that I have worked hard to get where I am and the blessings I have received are a result of that hard work and determination.
So suffice to say, my life is going pretty damn good right now. I have an inner peace I have not experienced in a long time and I'm not struggling with myself as much as before. I have only two areas left in my life which I need to regain control over, smoking and exercising. I'm hoping that the smooth running areas of my life will give me the opportunity to focus on these two areas and make the necessary changes. Wish me luck because I've been struggling with these two areas for sometime now, and I'm hoping to finally make the switch.
Oh, and one more note of information...I applied for a Master's in Public Health program here at my school to be compelted in conjunction with my JD. So, keep your fingers crossed for me!
I hope everyone had a great holiday and that everyone is doing well!
Peace Out.