Feeling Hurt
09.13.09 (10:43 pm) [edit]
So I have a lot of new changes in my life and I'm just now starting to feel some of the emotional consequences of it all. My ex-roommate, who at one point I considered my best friend, finally moved out of my house. She failed to leave her key, failed to pay for July bills, Aug bills & Aug rent. I have contacted her several times to find out where she wants me to forward her mail too & find out what's going on; to no avail. I guess I just don't understand people like this. I know at the end things were off between us, but at the same time I would never treat someone with such disrespect. I always kept hoping for the best in this person and am just once again let down.
On the flip side, while some of my bonds of friendships are strengthening I feel I've lost others. As I heard this from a friend, another once friend said "She is done with me." Apparently L is pissed off at me because she got caught telling people a secret of another friend, S. I admitted to said friend, S, that I was guilty of this as well and apologized, told her there was no excuse for my actions & that I was sorry. S got mad, hurt & I accepted that, but later we continued talking and she soon forgave me. But among this conversation, S figured out what L had done and it was confirmed by another source. So when S confronted L, L got pissed at me rather than taking responsibility for her actions & told S that she was done with me.
This is the kind of high school none sense I was getting sick of and prompted me to talk to S in the first place. Everyone in our "group" of friends had been guilty at some point or another betraying or talking sh*t about someone else at one point or another. I just got sick of it and really wanted to clear the air and build a stronger relationship with my friend S, which luckily I have accomplished. But amidst this I have been ostracized from the group it seems. It appears L is being super friendly with S, & L, J, & D (3 of the group) no longer communicates with me.
Although, I recognized I have not yet tried to contact them, I really am not in a place to deal with any confrontations or B.S. I really don't have it in me emotionally to try and work things out. I am so hurt right now that everyone is so easily and willing to drop our friendships & it makes me question whether they really were my friends to begin with or just drinking buddies. Furthermore, I just barely escaped from the emotional abuse of my ex-roommate and I really can't take anymore manipulations, lies or B.S. from anyone else right now.
The fact of the matter is, I am sorry if other people got hurt as a result of my confession to S & I am sorry that I didn't take into consideration the ramifications it would have to others. But I was just trying to be honest to S. No, I did not think of how it would affect her relationships with others because I didn't think my confession could, or that it would lead to the discovery of betrayals by others.
Of course, I don't know what is running around in everyone's brains, but I do know their actions, or inactions. I'm just tired; tired of being hurt by those around me, tired of being let down by those I care about & just tired of being so easily discarded.
But, I am thankful for those who have stood by my, listened to me, supported me and have just been such great friends to me. They keep me tethered & keep my optimism going; it's just sometimes hard to see it through the hurt and pain.
On the flip side, while some of my bonds of friendships are strengthening I feel I've lost others. As I heard this from a friend, another once friend said "She is done with me." Apparently L is pissed off at me because she got caught telling people a secret of another friend, S. I admitted to said friend, S, that I was guilty of this as well and apologized, told her there was no excuse for my actions & that I was sorry. S got mad, hurt & I accepted that, but later we continued talking and she soon forgave me. But among this conversation, S figured out what L had done and it was confirmed by another source. So when S confronted L, L got pissed at me rather than taking responsibility for her actions & told S that she was done with me.
This is the kind of high school none sense I was getting sick of and prompted me to talk to S in the first place. Everyone in our "group" of friends had been guilty at some point or another betraying or talking sh*t about someone else at one point or another. I just got sick of it and really wanted to clear the air and build a stronger relationship with my friend S, which luckily I have accomplished. But amidst this I have been ostracized from the group it seems. It appears L is being super friendly with S, & L, J, & D (3 of the group) no longer communicates with me.
Although, I recognized I have not yet tried to contact them, I really am not in a place to deal with any confrontations or B.S. I really don't have it in me emotionally to try and work things out. I am so hurt right now that everyone is so easily and willing to drop our friendships & it makes me question whether they really were my friends to begin with or just drinking buddies. Furthermore, I just barely escaped from the emotional abuse of my ex-roommate and I really can't take anymore manipulations, lies or B.S. from anyone else right now.
The fact of the matter is, I am sorry if other people got hurt as a result of my confession to S & I am sorry that I didn't take into consideration the ramifications it would have to others. But I was just trying to be honest to S. No, I did not think of how it would affect her relationships with others because I didn't think my confession could, or that it would lead to the discovery of betrayals by others.
Of course, I don't know what is running around in everyone's brains, but I do know their actions, or inactions. I'm just tired; tired of being hurt by those around me, tired of being let down by those I care about & just tired of being so easily discarded.
But, I am thankful for those who have stood by my, listened to me, supported me and have just been such great friends to me. They keep me tethered & keep my optimism going; it's just sometimes hard to see it through the hurt and pain.
Ode To My True Friends
09.10.09 (11:07 am) [edit]
Although distance and life events may pull us a part.
The bond that ties us stays strong and only expands.
Eventually we always find our way back to one another;
And this is my thanks to you, my true friends.
You have stood by me through trauma, drama and loss
You've provided support and an ear to turn too.
You've recognized and accepted my support when asked
You've trusted me with your troubles and concerns.
Above all you have been a true and great friend.
One who has helped me become a better person.
One who has allowed me to maintain hope and optimism for people
As a result of your kindness and compassion you display.
I feel blessed to have a friend such as you
And blessed to have you a part of my life's journey.
I am confident are bond is so strong,
And that we will be friends forever true.
The bond that ties us stays strong and only expands.
Eventually we always find our way back to one another;
And this is my thanks to you, my true friends.
You have stood by me through trauma, drama and loss
You've provided support and an ear to turn too.
You've recognized and accepted my support when asked
You've trusted me with your troubles and concerns.
Above all you have been a true and great friend.
One who has helped me become a better person.
One who has allowed me to maintain hope and optimism for people
As a result of your kindness and compassion you display.
I feel blessed to have a friend such as you
And blessed to have you a part of my life's journey.
I am confident are bond is so strong,
And that we will be friends forever true.
My Response to Obama's Speech
09.09.09 (10:44 pm) [edit]
Ok, first lets address the issue that I am a liberal democrat & think health care is a moral imperative for our nation. having that said here are my thoughts, comments & critiques on Obama's speech.
My initial reaction was wow, I am listening to my generation's version of MLK. BHO's oratory ability is amazing, sometimes I wonder if we are all just so excited to have a articulate educated sounding POTUS that we get wrapped in just by this one aspect. Notwithstanding that, there are several key points I was happy to see him address:
First the goals in which he wants to achieve for the future. Second, dispelling the myths being circulated about the proposal. Third, being firm at calling out those members of Congress who continue to use this issue for political gain rather than put the health & well being of the American people first. As well as several more.
After watching I checked out people's response on Twitter and other sites. I was amazed at the majority of positive support for this speech & Obama's plan. Although I still see some of the discussion being sidetrack by lies, liars & mudslinging name callers.
But I also understand some people's frustration for not getting specifics of the bill.
My response: Let's be real. There is no way BHO can give all the details of the plan in a condensed speech. If you really want to know the specifics get on that wonderful new invention called the WWW and google the proposed bill. Take a little responsibility for educating yourself on what he proposes rather than criticizing him for not giving all the details.
My second response: I think BHO is still trying to allow for some wiggle room in order for both sides of the aisle to collaborate & come up with the best possible / passable plan. Although, many criticize him for cross the aisle instead of forcing it threw, I think in the long run this way will be more beneficial, more debate, more ideas & more scrutiny of the plan itself - then again I'm an optimist.
The thing that really and truly ticked me off was the fact that our POTUS had to call out once collogues, media, & others LIARS for spreading incorrect information about the so called death panels. The purpose of these panels, in my understanding, was to allow families to receive information, counseling & help planning for & dealing with end of life decisions for themselves and loved ones. For some reason this is an incredibly touchy subject for Americans and the idea that one plans for or discusses their wishes before the event is so outrageous that they got to be called death panels really offends and disappoints me. Furthermore, DRs have a hard time discussing these issues and the idea behind the panels was to create a discussion or communication within society so these things can be discussed openly without so much fear, heaven forbid we talk about what we fear.
Overall, I was incredibly impressed by this speech and am hopeful once again that we will get something done, anything that will move us in the right direction. But I do agree with having a public option in order to actually create a free market, make insurance companies compete & hold them accountable.
My final note, I was not incredibly impressed or moved by the Republic response. It did sound incredible scripted & failed to address, what I feel are valid concerns of the republican party. I felt it just focused on what they see as wrong rather than putting forth reasonable suggestions & solutions that really benefit the American people.
Just my biased opinions & thoughts on the matter. Have a good night all!
My initial reaction was wow, I am listening to my generation's version of MLK. BHO's oratory ability is amazing, sometimes I wonder if we are all just so excited to have a articulate educated sounding POTUS that we get wrapped in just by this one aspect. Notwithstanding that, there are several key points I was happy to see him address:
First the goals in which he wants to achieve for the future. Second, dispelling the myths being circulated about the proposal. Third, being firm at calling out those members of Congress who continue to use this issue for political gain rather than put the health & well being of the American people first. As well as several more.
After watching I checked out people's response on Twitter and other sites. I was amazed at the majority of positive support for this speech & Obama's plan. Although I still see some of the discussion being sidetrack by lies, liars & mudslinging name callers.
But I also understand some people's frustration for not getting specifics of the bill.
My response: Let's be real. There is no way BHO can give all the details of the plan in a condensed speech. If you really want to know the specifics get on that wonderful new invention called the WWW and google the proposed bill. Take a little responsibility for educating yourself on what he proposes rather than criticizing him for not giving all the details.
My second response: I think BHO is still trying to allow for some wiggle room in order for both sides of the aisle to collaborate & come up with the best possible / passable plan. Although, many criticize him for cross the aisle instead of forcing it threw, I think in the long run this way will be more beneficial, more debate, more ideas & more scrutiny of the plan itself - then again I'm an optimist.
The thing that really and truly ticked me off was the fact that our POTUS had to call out once collogues, media, & others LIARS for spreading incorrect information about the so called death panels. The purpose of these panels, in my understanding, was to allow families to receive information, counseling & help planning for & dealing with end of life decisions for themselves and loved ones. For some reason this is an incredibly touchy subject for Americans and the idea that one plans for or discusses their wishes before the event is so outrageous that they got to be called death panels really offends and disappoints me. Furthermore, DRs have a hard time discussing these issues and the idea behind the panels was to create a discussion or communication within society so these things can be discussed openly without so much fear, heaven forbid we talk about what we fear.
Overall, I was incredibly impressed by this speech and am hopeful once again that we will get something done, anything that will move us in the right direction. But I do agree with having a public option in order to actually create a free market, make insurance companies compete & hold them accountable.
My final note, I was not incredibly impressed or moved by the Republic response. It did sound incredible scripted & failed to address, what I feel are valid concerns of the republican party. I felt it just focused on what they see as wrong rather than putting forth reasonable suggestions & solutions that really benefit the American people.
Just my biased opinions & thoughts on the matter. Have a good night all!
Fragile Friendships
09.08.09 (11:10 pm) [edit]
Snip, snip there it goes.
The ties of friendship,
So easily severed, so easily forgotten.
I mourn for the loss of friendships,
I mourn even more over the feeling of disappointment
Of being let down once again
By those who surround me, my once so called friends.
It takes only one event, the cutting of the string that binds.
Do I accept and move on, or fight?
Do I try to retie the string that once was,
Knowing it will be forever changed,
Or give up and watch the pieces steadily fade away.
The ties of friendship,
So easily severed, so easily forgotten.
I mourn for the loss of friendships,
I mourn even more over the feeling of disappointment
Of being let down once again
By those who surround me, my once so called friends.
It takes only one event, the cutting of the string that binds.
Do I accept and move on, or fight?
Do I try to retie the string that once was,
Knowing it will be forever changed,
Or give up and watch the pieces steadily fade away.
GRAD SCHOOL V. LAW SCHOOL (INITIAL COMPARISON)
09.02.09 (11:42 am) [edit]
Ok, so finally graduated w/ my JD in May and took the bar in Jul (keep your fingers crossed for me). I am now finishing up my MPH (Master's in Public Health). For the MPH, the first year requires everyone to take the same required courses, then the second year you have more electives or course required depending on your concentration. As a result of completing my JD in conjunction of being accepted to the MPH program already, I have basically completed the second year course requirements & electives and am now stuck in the first year.
I have one class which reminds me of high school, takes attendance, has in class quizzes, homework assignments to be turned in, several exams & heaven forbid do not come in late. Seriously? How old are we & who is paying who for what education? In my other classes, I have homework assignments to be turned in throughout the semester & a couple of exams. What happened to me when I'm complaining of having my grade be based on more than just one final exam or paper? I remember the first year of law school cringing at the idea of having my entire semester grade based on one final exam - now I wish I had that back. I learned that with the final exam, I could slack off, get behind during the semester & still bust my butt at the end of the semester and get an A. Now I have to actually suffer through classes, work throughout the semester, keep up with assignments in order to get an A. Sheesh, what are they thinking of?
Ok, although it's kind of hard to switch gears in terms of studying habits & patterns, I have looked at the amount of reading & work required for the courses & as it appears initially, it's cake compared to law school. Definitely not as much reading or material being absorbed, so go me, or not.
So my initial evaluation of Grad school compared to law school = it's much easier, less work overall, but more busy BS work.
We'll see how this changes as the semester moves forward. Now I have to get back to being put to sleep in my biostatistics class. Yawn.
Peace love & all that jazz.