Everything and Nothing to Say . . .

I really want passion back in my life.  At this point I'll take it in any form, an issue, a cause, a love affair, anything.  The reason being, with passion in my life I've always been inspired and have hopes for the future.  I regain my lost optimism for mankind and the human race.  I become motivated and excited for life.  I feel that anything is possible. . . passion where have you gone?  Why have you abandoned me?  How do I get you back?

2 Comments

So, I have a history of major depression and some past traumatic experinces which brought it on.  Now, I'm overly protective of my mental health.  I as so excited to go back to law school, but now it's just another goal I've set for myself and I'm not enjoying it as much.  I have so much outside stress and pressure that I'm starting to crack.  Plus, I'm finding myself in a bit of depression.  It's becoming harder and harder to focus or motivate myself to stay on top of my work.  I think having both my father and brother leave the country has been a huge adjustment for me.  My biggest support system is not as easily accessible as it used to be.

The one really nice thing about living with my dad for the 8 months when I first moved to NY was having another hand to help cook and clean and handle all of the house responsibilities.  Having a house to myself is quite a bit of work alone.  Anyway, I went back to counseling and decided to go back on anti-depressants.  I would rather error on the side of caution with my mental stability than not.  Especially with both the holidays and exams coming up I might to make sure I'm in the best possible position for success.

God, I hate the idea of going back on the meds. but I'm not willing to take the chance that I can't pull through or deal with everything in time to be ready for exams.  C'est la vie.

1 Comments

Yes, I am now officially a year older, the big 27. So, I think the greatest thing about my b-day was that I received either e-mails or phone calls from a couple of my friends from college. My one friend is currently on duty in Afghanistan and the other in Indiana. I also received flowers and balloons from my Dad and Bro who are currently in China. It's nice to have a day when people connect to you and you get a chance to catch up on each other lives. This is what I love the most about b-days. It's not a requirement to remember someone's but it's always so nice to hear from people. So, I just wanted to say thanks to all you who connected with me today. It was great hearing from you and catching up! Love you all!

5 Comments

So I'm taking Criminal Law this year and I thought these stats from the FBI's Uniform Crime Reports for the US (UCR) were intersting.  These statitstics excludes negligent homicide or acts of justifiable or excusable homicide:

1.  The American murder rate peaked in 1980 and again in 1990 at about 10 murders per 100,000 people.  A slow decline occurred, and in the mid-1990s, there were about 22,000 homicides per year, or a rate of about 7.5 (still by far the highest rate among large industrialized democracies).  2002 saw about 16,000 murders, for a rate of 5.6 per 100,000 people (over a 40% percent drop from 1990). 

2.  The most homicidal month in 2002 was July, the least February.

3.  The South has by a slight margin the highest rate, and the Northeast the lowest, with the Weat and Midwest in between.

4.  In terms of victims, 77% were males, 10% under the age of 18, 25% were under 22 y/o; approx. half were Black, and almost half White, w/ other racial categories making up the small remainder.

5.   In terms of offenders, 90% were male, 5% were under 18 y/o, and 22% were under 22; among these offenders identified by race, approx. 50% were Black, and 48% White (but 29% off all offenders were not id by race).

6.  Homicide is typically interracial.  85% of Whilte victims were killed by White offenders; 91% of Black victims were killed by Black offenders.

7.  Approx. 90% of male victims and 90% of female victims are killed by male offenders.

8.  Firearms (most often handguns) were used in 67% of the homicides.

9.  About 34% of the murders appeared to result from arguments, 17% were caused by or associated w/ some independent felonious activity, 7% (and increasing markedly) were juvenile gang killings. 

Kaplan, John, Robert Weisberg, Guyora Binder, "Criminal Law, Cases and Materials," 5th Ed. Aspen Publishers, Inc. 2004, pp. 304-305.

1 Comments

I don't know what it is or why they have to make the proces of buying a house so damn difficult.  If it's not one thing it's another thing.  We've been trying to close on the damn house now for two months and the mortgage company can't seem to get it together.  Now, it's too late to try and go with someone else and start the whole damn process over again...the seller is getting on my back and I keep e-mailing the company questions with some response but not all.

Right now I feel like throwing in the towel, packing up, finding an new apartment and saying screw it all.  I won't do this, I just feel like it right now.  This is not something I need to be dealing with while dealing with law school.  Arg...

Such is life.

1 Comments

Ok guys, how ironic is this...I finally was able to get a new furnace for my house (as I had been told to NOT use the old one b/c it could possible leak CO, bad) on Tuesday. We had heard on the radio to expect snow mixed with rain on Thursday and Friday with no accumulation. I was so excited to have my new furnace for the coming cold weather. But the joke was on me. I lost power Thursday about 4pm. I was not too worried as I called the electric company and they said the estimated repair time was 7:30pm. Ok, no big deal, I went outside with Tessa (my dog), played with her and cleaned off my car....7:30p rolls around and still no power. I'm breaking out my candles and call the company again. The message was this "Due to the severity of damage in your area, no estimate time of repair has been established." Well shit, I thought, a night w/o power. No big deal. So, I bundle up and bunkered down with my two down comforters, my two cats and one dog. By morning I was stripping out of clothes I was so warm. Ah, but come morning, I looked outside and could not believe my eyes... My car, my house was barried...omg! I get up and the first order of business is to let Tessa out. I break out my snow boots, my winter coat and a pair of gloves...and try to open the door with little luck. The snow was so heavy and thick I could not get my door open enough to slip out. Lucky for me, I had brought the car scrapper and mini shovel I kept in the trunk of my car, inside. So, after a little bit of diggy and manuvering I was able to walk outside. The snow came up to mid calf, and around my car, I could not open my door w/o digging it out. Tessa and I went to the street and checked it out. Tree limbs had fallen all over the place and were continuing to do so. The street was still dark overhead...there was no way I was getting out. As, I had no tv, no radio, I dug my car out and listened to the radio in the car. Schools were closed...I figured as much but everyone told me how prepared Buffalo is and how they never shut down for snow....HA!

Anyway, I stayed one more night and then finally was able to bail out and drive to Rochester, NY (1 hour east) where my mom lived and had a nice heated house. That was fun in and of itself, because when I started I had next to nothing in gas and had to drive 30 mins. just to find a damn gas station that was opened. Anyhoo, to add to my alrady funny dramatic weekend experience, I went to Urgent Care today and found out I have strep. I guess the best way to spend a snow filled weekend is with strep...hey, at least I'm now in a house with heat! It has yet to be determined whether classes will be cancelled tomorrow or not. I hope so because as it stands I have to miss because I'm sick and at least this way I won't actually miss anything....

Well hope you all had as much a fun filled weekend as I did....

1 Comments