Everything and Nothing to Say . . .

Ok, I have much to write about. First, I saw on Hardball last week an interview with one of the detainees at Gitmo. When asked about Bin Laden he responded saying that yes he is a terrorist. But, he also called GW a terrorist. I was so thrilled by this guy’s cojones to say this aloud on national TV. I jumped of my couch and celebrated.

If you doubt this comparison just look at the definition of a terrorist: adj: characteristic of someone who employs terrorism (especially as a political weapon); "terrorist activity"; "terrorist state" n : a radical who employs terror as a political weapon; usually organizes with other terrorists in small cells; often uses religion as a cover for terrorist activities.

Ok let’s look at some of the actions of the Admin. After 9/11 they used the Red, Orange and other various color alerts in order to keep the sheep scared so they could; a) gain political power and pass laws severely restricting our rights; b) use an excuse to violate the law; and c) help win the next election. Can you say the Patriot Act? How about GW’s spy program? “The Bush spy program secretly authorized the National Security Agency to circumvent FISA by conducting foreign intelligence surveillance of American citizens on American soil without any showing of probable cause and without first obtaining a warrant from the FISA Court. There is no question but that the Bush spy program directly and unequivocally violated FISA.” To read more check out at: uchicagolaw.typepad.com/faculty/2006/01/bushs _spy_progr_1.html

What’s scary is after abuses in the Nixon Administration the FISA court was created to balance the government’s need to protect the country from foreign enemies and the need to protect the rights of the citizens. Now we have an extremely corrupt, abusive Administration that can summarily violate the law when ever they deem it necessary. There are no checks and balances existing anymore, and what we are seeing is a dictatorship, not a democracy. The most outrageous thing is, the Congress, who is supposed to be elected to represent the people, has allowed these actions to continue. I’m beginning to wonder if the President can break the law, why can’t I defense will start coming up in courts.

Ok, now let’s look at the definition of terrorism: The unlawful use or threatened use of force or violence by a person or an organized group against people or property with the intention of intimidating or coercing societies or governments, often for ideological or political reasons.

Hmm, let see. Our invasion of the sovereign nation of Iraq was in violation of tons of International Laws; treaties we as a country have signed and agreed to abide by and uphold. Yeah screw that, the good ol’ US of A does not need to abide by our word or laws, we just do what we want, when we want and how we want. Screw the rest of the world. Moreover, don’t tell me we haven’t killed more Iraqis in our invasion than the 9/11 attacks. In addition, look the implementation and campaigning for the use of torture by our government from the Vice President. Since when did our country fall so far to resort to officially supporting the torture and terrorism of detainees?

Ok one last argument…this Admin has encouraged and fostered Christian fanaticism in this country which has created a great threat to Religious freedom. Every way I turn, I hear some new way in which the Fanaticism is trying to take away my religious freedom, or foist their beliefs off on me. You want to talk about creating terror; I can tell you from personal experience I am terrified for this countries future because more and more of my Civil Rights are being violated; my Religious Freedoms are being invaded; Business have more rights than I do as a living breathing individual; the Middle Class is being annihilated; our President has no respect for the rule of law; torture has become an acceptable intelligence gathering tactic; people laugh/cheer at learning someone has been killed (i.e., Hussiens lawyer); supposed News shows show pictures of the dead; Political corruption has been the accepted practice of Politicians along with having no backbone; and ignorance runs amuck in this country. Tell me what do I have to look forward to?

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So, I had a mixed blessing weekend.  I left work on Friday at 2pm to drive down to Ohiopyle State Park to go rafting down the Youghiogheny River with some friends from Maryland.  I stopped about 20 minutes away from the campsite to pick up some ice.  I pulled my key out of the ignition and noticed I left my sunroof open.  It's a habit that I have gotten into since living in the DC area to always close everything and lock my car up.  Plus, I was in the middle of god knows where.  So, I went to put my key back into the ignition to turn it on to close my sunroof.  And guess what.  The key had broken off in half and other half was still stuck in the ignition.  What a way to start a weekend.  So, I called my Dad first to let him know what was happening then I called my Road Side Assistance.  They informed me they will have the car towed to a dealership close by and that they are open tomorrow so they can get the broken key out and make me a new key.  So, I call my friends at the campsite and let them know what was going on, and they said they make there way over here and be there in about an hour.  Luckily, I had a book with me to pass the time.  When the tow truck guy got there, he informed me the dealerships service department would not be open until Monday.  He was from that area and I beleived him over my Roadside.  So, I was looking at being stuck in the area until Monday, ugh.  But, then he suggested we call a lock smith.  My Road side said they would not cover that.  Well, damn, hum, pay for the service myself, or miss a days worth of work and Father's Day.  Shit, pay for the damn lock smith.  Anyway, the locksmith eventually was able to get the broken key out and make me a new one.  I was surprised that the cost was only $60.  The damn dealerships would have charged me $120 alone for a new key.  So, I was happy.  I didn't make it to the campsite until 11pm and a bunch of people were heading to bed.  There goes my night of chillin' and catching up with my friends.  Argh.  Oh well, c'est la vie.

To make the whole weekend worth it was our trip down the River.  I had only been white water rafting one other time and it was a blast.  We started about 10AM and finished about 5PM, stopping for lunch, swimming, horseing around, and rock jumping along the way.  It was so much fun and I haven't laughed so much in a long time.  Note: I was only tossed out of the raft once and that was because I was laying down at the time taking a break, trusting my Captain to inform me of when I needed to pay attention - I guess he overestimated his ability to make it through a little patchy area.  Ah, oh well.  But anyway, I was also able to catch up with my best friend from high school, who was recently married and for whom I hadn't talked to since her wedding.  By the end of the day I was so exhausted, but it was good exhausted.  So, all in all it made the trip worth it.  We showered, refueled and then I headed home.

Sunday, I spent the day with my dad.  We took his motocycle out and drove around the nearby lake, stopping for rest and snacks.  We were able to catch up on things, dream and make plans for the future.  It was really nice.  So, that was my fun filled, up and down weekend!

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So, the previous post is how I started off feeling today and really am still feeling.  I actually wrote it about 5 years ago when suffering from a painfully long period of depression.  For a couple of years now I have lived in fear of relapsing back to the hopelessness that I felt back then.  So, I have been living my life in a sort of emotionally numb stage.  Never too happy, never too sad, I call it content.  The only problem is I didn't feel as though I was living, only just existing.  I am attempting to correct this, and have opened myself up once again to life. It has been a mixed blessing.  I have finally been able to start building a meaningful relationship with my mother (my parents divorced when I was 8 and she moved out of state and became a once a weekend a month mom).  She has begun surprising me left and right.  We went to the driving range this past Sunday and we are planning to take Salsa lessons together.  On top of that, I feel as though she is really starting to get to know me as a person, not just as a daughter.  So, I am incredibly thankful for this opportunity.

On the other side of the coin, I have been attempting to put myself out there, making an effort to meet new people and develop meaningful relationships.  As usual, my efforts have been rebuffed and rebuked.  I just don't get.  I am overall a nice, genuine person, who has tons of interests.  I'm also very laid back and I'm not socially awkward.  And I still can't figure out why I have such a hard time making friends.  My first thought is always what's wrong with me, but I know there is nothing wrong with me.  So, then my second though is what's wrong with everybody else.  It's just so frustrating.  I'm basically all but ignored at work by my co-workers my own age.  When I go out (not at the bar scene), I just can't seem to meet anyone who has any interest in getting to know me.  At times like this I want to just throw in the towel.  But, I have learned that in life you must persevere.  So, here's to not giving up, but still bitching and frustrated about it in the meantime.

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Always alone, desolate, and desperate;
fear consumes me.
Yet, it steadily fades away,
into emotional numbness.
Nevertheless, it is only short lived,
this meager reprieve,
and the pain comes again.
It steadily seeps into my mind,
taking away all control,
all happiness,
all Hope.

Alone, desolate, desperate,
fear consumes once again,
a never-ending circle. 
Yet drops dead with one thought,
an everlasting reprieve—my only savior,
to never feel again.

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Yes, once again the Republicans are trying to kill funding for PBS and NPR.  They just voted to eliminate the funding this year, unbelievable starting with programs like Seasame Street. 

Here just a little information about the impact and importanace of this one Childrens Show:

"Sesame Street is an educational American children's television series designed for preschoolers, and is recognized as a pioneer of the contemporary standard which combines education and entertainment in children's television shows.  More than 4,000 episodes of the show have been produced in 36 seasons, which distinguishes it as one of the longest-running shows in television history.  It premiered on November 10, 1969.  

Because of its positive influence, Sesame Street has earned the distinction of being the foremost and most highly regarded educator of young people in the world.  No television series has matched its level of recognition and success on the international stage.  The original series has been televised in 120 countries, and more than 20 international versions have been produced.  In its long and illustrious history, Sesame Street has received more Emmy Awards than any other program, and has captured the allegiance, esteem, and affections of millions of viewers worldwide."  www.en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sesame_Street

So in essence the Republicans are not only eliminating a watchdog media source (because we can see what happens to the media once taken over by the private sector; they forget how report the facts) but a Cultural Icon and Legacy.  Isn't it bad enough that Bush gets elected with his No Child Left Behind scheme, fails to fund it, leaving many schools and children in the lurch, and now the Republicans want to take one of the more prestigious and timeless learning tools away from our Kids.  If you are as outraged as I am, I encourage you to take action.  Go to www.moveon.org and take 2 minutes to sign the petition to prevent this from happening.

It's a sad sad day when our so called "Media" can show the picture of a dead man on the tv (which I find incredible offensive and disrespectful by the way),  but the death of Big Bird, Oscar, Elmo and others do not merrit even a small spot on the news.

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Old News: The Supreme Court upheld the lower court which banned the sell of sex toys in the State of Alabama.  The ruling said “Alabama had a right to police the sale of devices that can be sexually stimulating.”  The lower court said that “siding with the sex toy merchants could open the door to the legalization of undesirable sexual behavior such as prostitution.” 

Are you kidding me?  This falls in the same line of thinking that if you teach sex education, you are opening the door to teen promiscuity.  That argument did not work and this one won’t as well. 

New News: I heard, or rather caught the tail end of this report, that there are intentions in three other states to enact this kind of legislation.  This is just another example of the Right’s success in policing our bedrooms and abolishing our freedoms. 

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So, last night I watched MSNBC with my father.  The big story being the death of insurgent leader Abu Musab al-Zarqawi in Iraq.  The repetitive questions being asked consisted of: Will this effect the American public's view on Bush's handling of the Iraqi war? and What does this mean for the Iraqi war?  Others, such as Bill Frist, claimed al-Zarqawi to be the most wanted terrorist/worst terrorist in the world or something like that.  What about Bin Laden?  Was he not originially the figurehead of our enemys?  Then Saddam, now al-Zarqawi.  I can say for myself, this changes nothing on how I view the current Adminstrations incompetence in handling this so called "war". 

Speaking of wars, the fanatical Christian Right's attempt to pass legislation banning gay marriage has failed.  I love how they are claiming to perserve the institution of marriage.  Hah!  If marriage was such a precious and successful institution why are divorce rates so high?  Just another attempt to limit this countries freedoms.  Another note, I heard one of the leaders against gay marriage, compared the attempt of getting this legislation passed to the end of slaver and civil rights movement.  He fails to understand, the latter expanded rights and the former limits them.  Also, the later protects against hatred and discrimination where the former promotes it.  It's a sad day when the fanatics can compare the Civil Rights movement and the end of slavery with the banning of gay marriage.

Another classic example of Neo-conservative true colors coming through... Ann Coulter attacks 9/11 widows.  Every time I hear this women speak, she reminds me of those bitchy, cruel, and heartless girls in high school who loved torturing those less fortunate. 

Another failed attempt to ban the estate tax as well.  Let me make a note; the estate tax effects the top % of the population, so another attempt to keep the rich rich and the poor poor.  Got to love this country.

Another interesting point to note: The Da Vinci Code has been banned in China and Pakistan.  So, the movie is playing in all Christain countries but is banned in these two.  Ironic?  I believe the Catholic church's call to ban showing this movie is a perfect example of how the Right thinks and acts in this country.  Do not watch anything that questions your beliefs (so no nightly tv shows like the Westwing or ER), do not try to obtain new knowledge, and heaven forbid no watching Fiction which directly question your religon, god or institutionalized church.  It seems the Church is too scared that people might wake up to the truth that you don't need the Church to practice their religion and God does not command people to give to the already rich Church.  But, hey that's optimistic thinking, wait no, that's thinking in general, and most of the sheep do what they are supposed to do, follow.

Ok, enough is enough!

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So, here is the picture out of our family's house in Colorado.  The house is located across the highway from Mesa Verde Park.  Just beautiful.

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I just finished reading this book by Barabara Ehrenreich. I really enjoyed the book. Here's the ironic part. Last week I was talking to a co-worker who told me an HR file was almost started on one of his inferiors for discussing her salary to another employee. What I learned in this book is that "The National Labor Relations Act of 1935 makes it illegal to punish people for revelaing their wages to one another"(pg 207). Now I have not yet taken the initiative to see if this Act is still the persiding law of the land, but it makes sense. At the company I'm at now its discouraged, almost taboo to talk about wages. Hmmm, I wonder why? Another quote I like from the book is "When you enter the low-wage workplace-and many of the medium-wage workplaces as well-you check your civil liberties at the door, leave America and all it supposedly stands for behing, and learn to zip your lips for the duration of the shift...We can hardly pride ourselves on being the world's preeminent democracy, after all, if large numbers of citizens spend half their waking hours in what amounts, in plain terms, to a dictatorship"(pg 210). Just some food for thought. Also, is it any wonder I think the majority of American corporations are evil?

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Well, I started this, as most can see about a year+ ago and unlike lots of people, it never took. Well, as many new things have occurred in my life, I once again am going to attempt to maintain a blog. Eeek. So, recently I went from a job in Rockville, MD as and Executive Assistant for the Armed Forces Medical Examiner, it was a federal contracting position. I recently move to the Rochester, NY area and now have a job as an Appeals Specialist working on the new Medicare Part D Drug appeals. I work for a private company who independently reviews the decisions of the Plan's on appeal. Now, working with Medicare in some capacity definitely provides me with many possible discussions and criticism. However, there is one thing I would like to discuss first...and that is the workplace. Granted, I am 26 years old and have only been in the workplace for 5 years part time and 4 years full time. I've had miscellaneous jobs from US PIRG, retail, Local government, etc... What I find ironic is that I’ve heard many people complain about how the government is such a bureaucracy and very inefficient. I agree to this statement for the most part. In the government there are so many protections set up for the employee that it would take a long time to say "fire" them if need be. However, I have to mention that the regular government employee is being taken over by contractors who are at will employees who can be fired at any time; so much for job security in the marketplace. Ok, back to what I was saying. True government can be inefficient and inundated with bureaucracy; however, I have yet to be employed by a private corporation where it's any better. Yes, they can fire me at will; some would believe this to be efficient. However, as in my current job, I've found you have to be almost incompetent to be a manger and move up in this world. For example, they have set up a division in which two supervisors exist to oversee 5 people. Tell me, where is the efficiency in that decision. On top of it, one supervisor summarily refused to learn the job of the people they are supposed to be overseeing. In addition, the other, who was a friend to the 1st supervisor and was hired by them, came in trying to write standard operating procedures about the job in which she never took the initiative to learn. Tell me how a person can write operating procedures for job in which they do not know. On top of it all, the majority of employees have very little job security or protection from being fired at any time. It almost begs the question, why should I sweat and put my time, effort or loyalty towards a company, in which they can turn around at any time and fire me. And don’t get me started on the pension issue. I can safely say in my limited experience I have yet to see a positive aspect of corporate America. With the state affairs existing in this world, I believe this is extremely sad. It is just another piece of disillusionment uncovered in my life experience in which is supposed to be my Great, Amazing, county of mine. At moments like this, it is very hard to be proud to be American especially when the world hates us, our government and politicians are continuously breaking the law and/or are inundated by scandal, and our corporations are raping and pillaging the world all in the name of free market and profit. Nevertheless, then I remember what is great about this nation; I can say whatever the damn I want about it, either negative or positive, and I can for the most part make choices about my life without the interference of the government or other peoples beliefs. Wait, aren’t those freedoms that make me proud to be American now under attack by the Christian and Republican Right? Tell me, if you listen to my phone calls, police my bedroom, dictate to me what a family consists of, control my body, force my children to learn “Intelligent Design” as science, create the poor and then cut off any aid to them, preach values and not fund education, healthcare, and force families to have both parents working in order to get by, what am I supposed to be proud of? I can be thankful but not proud to be an American. And I can only pray the fear which has been struck inside me by the threats of limiting my freedoms will only be prevailed over by cooler heads. Well, today is just another day in which my frustrations have come to head. This, hopefully, will be only one of my many rant and ravings on my disillusionment of everything …

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